I haven't written in a week or so because I was on vacation in Vegas and then I got the stomach flu. If you know me well you are asking yourself, "your sick again? didn't you just have a cold?" Yep I did. I seem to be getting sick alot lately. And i think I have figured out why. I'm not getting enough rest.
When in Vegas I realized that I have no idea how to relax, I used to be able to do it, I seem to have forgotten how to. As I sat in a deep tub full of bubbles I found myself getting anxious and figgity like I didn't know what to do. "Come on just relax your muscles and shut off your mind" I kept telling myself, but I was having such a hard time doing so. I felt guilty for not doing anything. I was in Vegas after all, Shouldn't I be Gambling, eating , drinking seeing things? Well I did plenty of all of the other things till my feet ached, but all I felt was more tired.
In this age of technological wonder where everything is made to make our lives easier, we are all doing more than ever. Funny but if I look at my life 5 years ago heck even 2 years ago I am so much busier than I ever was then. All this extra technology means that I am having a harder time separating my work time from my personal time. And my job doesn't help either. I bring Tattoo drawings home some times to work on them, as well as commission paintings that I am working on and paintings for shows. Having an art studio in my home means that work is never far.
Our bodies need some things to work properly Food (fuel), Exercise and Rest. .... In this fast paced world we are feeding our bodies crappy quality food. Have you ever tried to run your car on crap fuel? sure it will run but not well and you'll need a tune up or repair it often. Well same goes for the body, if you don't take the time to eat a good healthy meal you will be constantly craving food (calories that you don't need) because your body is running low on the important nutrients. We are also living in our cars at least here in LA and have very little time in our schedule to move our bodies around. How well is that body going to work if you never get it moving? And lets not forget the rest part... How is your body supposed to work when it is over tired? I've noticed that rest has become sort of a guilty pleasure or in my case I have even lost the pleasure of it. We are so in the mindset that we have to get this done and that done and constantly adding to our to do lists that we never make time to stop and just breathe. Those who do know how to rest are sometimes looked upon as lazy.
Where is this all coming from you ask? well I have been made to rest by being ill. I was so sick I couldn't even concentrate to draw or go online. So I just had to stop. It was so strange to be still and to actually hear my own thoughts. I had forgotten how that felt.Maybe getting ill wasn't just my immune system not working, but my body making me stop. My body just hasn't had enough healthy food, enough exercise and not nearly enough rest lately and I am now suffering from it. My immune system doesn't seem to be able to fight off the slightest thing,my thoughts are scattered.,I don't feel I can focus on any one thing because I have 50 other things in my head. Like I said in my last journal, I am the overflowing tea cup.
What am I going to do about it?
-now that I am back on solid food again, I am going to try to think of food a little more like fuel and give my body what it needs to run properly.
-I'm going to start increasing the time on my exercise bike to get my body in motion and once my physical therapy for my knee has progressed enough I will start piliates again
-I'm going to schedule an hour a day to do nothing.. I think that this will be the hardest one yet.
-and schedule playtime. I need time to screw off and play video games, go have coffee with a friend just fun.
This feel s like a New Years resolution and since it is the beginning of the Chinese new year maybe it is. So lets hear it for the Year of the Rat!